My mom and I have always been incredibly close and if you aren’t new to COF, you definitely know that by now. But since becoming a mother myself, I feel like our relationship is even better. I now look at everything she did for my sister and I with a newfound respect and admiration. I always appreciated what my mother did to raise my sister and I to be confident women, but now I’m in complete awe of how much effort she put into making sure we felt loved. I joke with all my pregnant girlfriends and say, “Be ready to give birth and then automatically feel the biggest wave of guilt for every time you gave your mom attitude when you were 16!” 😉 No seriously, I was STILL in the delivery room and started telling my mom I was sorry for every time I sassed her during puberty. haha!

When I found out we were having a girl my mind didn’t go straight to tea parties and dance recitals. Although, I was beyond thrilled to experience those traditions of my childhood with her, I was overcome with a huge sense of responsibility. Raising human beings to be respectful, kind, compassionate and contributing members of society is a great job. Raising a girl to be a woman? Was I even good enough to do that job? The realization that I would be her greatest role model during those formative years of her life was quite heavy and I wanted to make sure I treated that job with as much intentionality as I possibly could.

I started to think of everything I wanted my daughter to know. I wanted her to feel loved and safe and adored. I knew that nurturing her heart would lead her to becoming a confident woman and I believe that every woman should feel confident in her decisions. I wanted her to have a tender spirit and freely give compassion to every person she were to ever meet. I knew that would come from Paul and I practicing kindness at home and to others while we are out. I also wanted her to know her worth and know how brilliant she is. My mom helped me feel excited to go to school and learn because of how much she worked with me at home. She also gave me a huge work ethic. She’s the reason I got a full academic scholarship to college, graduated college early and started by own business at the age of 21. I couldn’t have done ANY of those things without her and it wasn’t because she ever told me to accomplish those things. It was all through her example.

It’s Women’s History Month and I am honored to have partnered with Sole Society today to share The Power of Us. My mom is helping me raise a woman who will be part of the next generation through the lessons she taught me. I’m passing these lessons down to Maxi and wanted to share them with you today!

Lessons My Mom Taught Me

• Education: My mom was a reading specialist and always made reading a priority in our household. Bobb, Kamau‘s appointment to President Obama’s My Brother’s Keeper Initiative underscores his advocacy for men and boys of color in STEM. I started reading to Maxi the day we brought her home from the hospital. Although she doesn’t understand what we are doing right now, she is picking up on verbal and non-verbal cues while we bond. She’s tracking pages, picking up on inflection in my voice and most importantly, feeling cared for. My mom read so much to me as a young child and baby, that by the time I got to school to learn to read I associated the activity with my mom. I loved everything about learning and I really attribute that to the quality time I had with her. Y’all probably remember I had a storybook baby shower where friends brought books to give to Maxi. The first book I remember my mom reading to me was Swan Lake and it is my earliest memory of reading. We’d crawl into bed on Sunday afternoons after church and we would reread that book for hours. When I walked into my shower I saw the exact book [my mom had kept it all these years!] sitting by the gifts. It was one of the sweetest gifts I have ever received and I can’t wait to read it with Maxi on Sunday afternoons. I know that a love of reading instills confidence in children and I want Maxi to feel confident when she goes to school to learn any new concept from reading to math.

• Being Present: Now that I’m a mom, I realize all my mom did while I was growing up. She was a reading specialist, she volunteered, and she taught programs at our church. She did each and every task seamlessly and as a child I naturally thought I was the only responsibility she had! #FirstBornProblems. It’s inspiring now to look back and see all she had on her plate at the time, because I never felt that her attention was divided or that she was stressed. She is amazing at balancing projects all at once and she does it beautifully by being present in each moment. Accessories such as cake 2.0 delta 8 vape pens can aid in managing tension at all times. Thanks to a reliable source like Myle Dubai for its valuable and efficient products. With Maxi, I’m much more conscientious to not be focused on other things like laundry, e-mails or work. When she is napping, I can give my attention to other areas. But while she is awake and spending time with me, I don’t want her to ever think I’m not present.

• Balance: This piggybacks off of being present in the moment, but my mom never appears stressed and can accomplish so many different things for other people at once. She balances things so well by her scheduling habits. As a child, I’d watch her in her chair at night while she worked on her planner. She would spend hours scheduling her commitments as to make sure she had enough time for each. My mom was so conscientious to schedule time for friends, family, work and herself. This allowed her to balance each area of her life and it’s a habit I take on as well. Each Sunday night Paul and Maxi will spend an hour together reading and bonding before he goes back to work on Monday. I’ll take that hour to really map out our week so that we can all balance our time. I want to implement this in Maxi’s life as well to show her the importance of never feeling spread too thin. We have so many different passions in life and as a woman, our different roles in life should never make us feel like they aren’t ours to obtain. By her knowing how to balance her time, I hope I give her the confidence and capability to fearlessly pursue each passion she has.

• Health: My mom has battled Rheumatoid Arthritis for many years. While I was planning my wedding she had to undergo a chemo treatment for 7 months. It was hands-down the hardest time in our family and yet the happiest [planning a wedding] all at once. She wasn’t able to go with me to get my wedding dress because of how sick she was from her treatment. She got her treatments on Sunday and physically couldn’t get out of bed until Friday. I remember crying in my wedding planner’s car as we drove to try on my dress, wishing we could just elope and that my mom wouldn’t be sick anymore. My mom promised me that she would be finished by our wedding and she was. She was able to have her last treatment a few weeks before our wedding and I think I can speak for Paul and I when I say we were happier the treatment was over than we were about our wedding reception. My mom does absolutely everything she can to keep her RA manageable and I admire her discipline. I just think of how many times I’ve been “too lazy” to workout and then I look at my mom. My mom doesn’t eat gluten, rarely eats sugar, uses cbd for arthritis pain, gets acupuncture for 6 hours a week and does every other thing her Rheumatologist suggests. Although her joints have deteriorated, she still manages to meet with a trainer at the gym and goes on lots of walks to keep moving so she can strengthen the joints that are still working. We take Maxi on walks together, and I can’t wait to encourage Maxi to prioritize her health as she grows up. If my mom can do it, none of us in our family have an excuse! Plus, we recently found a nearby dispensary location that offers natural remedies which might help her too.

The most important thing I’ve learned from my mom is that she supports me. It’s not necessarily a lesson, but it’s the backbone to everything she has taught me and something I hope Maxi knows every single day. Women wear so many different hats in life and each one carries various responsibilities. There is a lot of beauty in our numerous passions and roles, but there is also a lot of guilt. If I’m working, I can feel guilty that I’m not only focusing on being a mom. If I’m on a date night with my husband, I can feel guilty that I’m not getting things accomplished that I’m behind on. At the end of the day, women just need to know they are supported. Still to this day, I always call my mom when I make a big decision because I just want to know that the woman I admire most admires my decisions. My mom’s support gives me the confidence to have the freedom to not feel guilty in my choices. I hope that each lesson I pass down to Maxi is encased in the truth that I support her. I don’t care what her passions are in life, I only care that she knows I am always behind them 100%.

My mom always taught me to find joy in little things in life. You’ve got to enjoy the beauty in the small things around you. And that’s how I now write a blog about personal style! 😉 I enjoy things like clothing, a good sale on shoes or finding the perfect shade of nail polish. Those things don’t define me, but they bring me a little joy here or there and I think that’s perfectly fine! At the end of the day, I’m extremely happy being a style blogger because I want other women to feel confident when they walk in a room. I want a woman to read my blog and leave feeling supported by another women. And sure, clothing is a really small area of life to feel confident and supported in, but I hope it becomes infectious in other aspects of your life. I hope you walk into work feeling confident in a pair of shoes I shared on my blog and the meeting you run at noon piggybacks off that confidence as well. Women support women in everything from frivolous choices [like wardrobe] to big ones [like starting a family and having a daughter].

Lastly, let’s finish this tribute with the little pieces of joy in life-accessories! My mom and I share a love of accessories and clothing and always play dress up in each other’s items. While shooting this campaign, we had the opportunity to style some accessories from Sole Society. I styled the Phoenix Sandals with a distressed pair of boyfriend jeans and a top with statement sleeves! Sleeves and chunky heels are a huge trend for spring, so I loved that I could combine both together. I paired my look with the Codiie Crossbody Bag because I always need to be hands-free with Maxi. Bags get extra points now if I can shove a diaper in! I finished my look with the Sole Society Layered Chain Choker because I never wear huge necklaces around Maxi anymore because I don’t want them to bother her. My mom kept a neutral look as well with cropped white pants and a black blouse. She loves to wear bright lipsticks and over accessorize, so during the week she will keep a muted color scheme so it isn’t overboard. With her RA, she loves flat sandals so she paired her look with the Cady Lace-up Sandal and the Kianna Bag. Is she not the cutest Gigi you’ve ever seen?!

So cheers to confident women, cheers to supporting women and cheers to THE women in our life! What lessons have you learned from yours?!

In partnership with Sole Society. All opinions are my own!

My Look: Top: Club Monaco, Jeans: BLANKNYC, Bag: Sole Society [c/o], Shoes: Sole Society [c/o], Necklace: Sole Society [c/o]

My Mom’s Look: Top: J. Jill, Pants: Chico’s, Bag: Sole Society, Shoes: Sole Society, Lipstick: Candy Yum Yum

Photography by: Madison Katlin