Top {Look for Less Version} | Shorts | Bag | Sunglasses | Bralette | Necklaces | Shoes
Top {Look for Less Version} | Shorts | Bag | Sunglasses | Bralette | Necklaces | Shoes
Ahh sweet Friday! I’m writing this post cuddled up in bed after trying out a new self-tanner {Godspeed to me!!} and getting excited for the weekend. This weekend will be dedicated to celebrating some of my very favorite people in life. On Saturday morning, I’m headed to a birthday brunch to celebrate a dear friend and Saturday evening we celebrate my mom’s birthday. Along with my mom’s gifts for her birthday, I always give her the “gift of organization” each year. My mom is a very organized person, but with her RA and hand issues {she’s recently had her third-hand surgery} she can’t organize how she would like. On her birthday each year, I come over with Container Store boxes in tow and get to work. Yesterday I made my CS run and felt very Home Edit like. My dream!
I wanted to take today’s post and chat about something a little different than this fabulous top. Which, really friends is one of my favorites. I love it tucked into my cut-off shorts in summer {it’s a light material!} and will wear it with denim in the fall, too- thanks to the mustard hue!
Today, let’s talk about online comparison. Yikes. So taboo on a blog!
I had a reader e-mail me on Monday and that sparked this topic on my mind all week. Her husband has the same type of job that Paul has and she was asking how I balance him working so much without being upset. She really e-mailed me at the best time because it was something I’ve been struggling with lately, and so I just had quite the girl talk session with her over it.
What does that have to do with online comparison?! Oh, everything.
Working in the content creation industry, I see a lot of how women compare themselves. From finances to careers, it’s easy to scroll or “creep” on a stranger and wish you had their situation. What do I struggle with? Time with my husband.
I’ve meant to share this online for forever {I’ve even recorded Insta Stories about it but feel silly and delete them.} but I never do because I don’t want to come across as complaining. However, having a reader e-mail me was such a push to share this because I realized that so many of us can probably relate to this.
Many of you know Paul works a very traditional corporate job. He’s an executive at an oil company, and leaves before breakfast, gets home late, and has a home office he lives in.
BUT, he loves his job and we are SO incredibly grateful for it. And while I have always felt at least one or both individuals in a relationship have a job like this, I think I sometimes feel his absence from home more since I work from home.
So what is this ramble for? I didn’t get frustrated by the lack of time we had together until I started to see other people’s Insta Stories. I’d see other bloggers with their husbands home during the day and I thought, “Wait?! I miss my husband!” I know that sounds ridiculous, truly. But isn’t that how comparison is? We take things that just don’t seem logical and let it drive a wedge between us and our joy. Ultimately, it just made me take what had always been a “normal work schedule” in my life and marriage and made me think I was missing time.
How did I get over it? By switching the comparison lens.
Friends, it is SO easy to look at our lives and see someone else for 30 seconds in a clip and think they have it all together. I could think, “Oh how nice to have your husband home to help with the baby!“
But guess what? Someone has that lens with me.
I started to think to all my readers I DM and their schedules with their spouses. I’d think of one sweet reader I recently met for coffee and how her husband is deployed and JUST got home this week. She waited months and months to see him while he was serving for my family’s freedoms. I thought of another reader that is a widow and how she DM’d me good luck when I was speaking at the conference on Tuesday. Oh how that crushed my heart. I have ENDLESS time with my spouse in comparison to that.
And you know what switching my lens did? It gave me joy. Truly. You see, when we take these strangers online and allow ourselves to view them as people that fill our cup with inspiration, instead of taking away with envy, we can really experience all the positives of social media. I started to see how those women that I talk to are always so kind and encouraging to others. I know they must have hard days comparing, we all do. When we see someone that has a different situation than we do, what a gift we are presented with.
With this gift we can:
- Acknowledge their different situation and be glad they get to experience that in their life. See a girl with your dream job online? Great! That’s fabulous she can do that. What about a girl on a luxurious honeymoon? Let’s be happy for her! When I see someone with their spouse a lot, instead of feeling a little down that I wish I was with mine, I want to feel happy for them. That is a gift and gifts should never be the catalyst to negativity.
- Realize we are given different lives on purpose. You all know I’m a believer, and with that, I have to accept that if I feel sorry for myself in a situation {maybe a night I have a lot of work and Paul won’t be home until midnight} I am essentially questioning God’s plan for my life. He has given me a family I adore, a job I am BEYOND grateful for, and a life I don’t deserve. In order for me to be the wife, mother, blogger, friend, daughter, sister he has called me to be, I have to experience different things than a stranger on the internet does. If we all lived the same calling, how on earth would we ever encourage one another?! I learn most from someone when they have walked a different journey than my own.
- Shift our lens. The reader I had coffee with a few weeks ago was Abi Nowlin. Her husband arrived home 3 days ago and I’ve watched their reunion video over and over on Instagram. I’ve read all the comments of her friends thrilled for her. And each time I watch that video, two things happen. First, I naturally recognize that I see my husband ALL THE TIME in comparison. But second, I remember how joyful Abi was! She could easily have sat with me and felt no empathy for my “busy” life and yet she didn’t. She was so sweet and asked me how I balanced it all. What a perspective shift for me!
So are we allowed to have moments we don’t love each detail in our seasons of life? Oh absolutely. We can’t be robots- it’s GOOD to feel things. I miss my husband constantly {it’s midnight and he’s working right now} but honestly, I think it makes me a better wife. Everyone around us always says, “You can’t give Paul and Katey gifts, because they just always want time with one another.” And it is so true. We just enjoy time! But we can also take those emotions of comparison online and power them towards positivity.
So as shy as I feel about sharing this {because I get that on the outside looking in this can seem SO minute- but hey, social media brings that out sometimes!} I hope it helps you not feel alone. Maybe you get bothered by something small, as well. As you scroll your feed today, try those three tricks. They help me so much and I hope they turn any small amount of jealousy into the greatest amount of joy!
P.S. I have been so nervous/anxious to even post this because I really do understand that me missing Paul when he works is just downright silly. Whether you are in residency, your husband is an attorney, you travel for work each week, etc. etc, there are a million reasons you may not see your spouse that often. This is just something that I think I notice because I have worked from home the past 4 years and I stay home with Maxi. I’m home, so naturally when I see a spouse home with their family, I miss mine. 🙂 I don’t want anyone to think I’m diluting how normal our schedules are, I just wanted to share because I know when we say what we struggle with in comparison it can sometimes feel silly. But our feelings should always be acknowledged! As always, thank you so much for your kindness! xo, Katey
Thank you for the lovely post, Katey! It’s always good to keep in mind that what we see on social media isn’t equal to real life. 🙂 Also, loving your boho top! The colour is gorgeous! ❤️✨
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Thank you so much, girl! 🙂 xo, Katey
Katey, Thank you so much for sharing your heart! This brought tears…so beautifully and perfectly said! Love!
Thank you so much for reading, Debbie!! So appreciative! xo, Katey
Thank you so much for sharing this! I really need to hear it today!
Thank you so much for reading, Alexis! I think we all can feel this way sometimes and it is nice to know we aren’t alone! xo, Katey
Katey OMG!!! First of all, I love a good chit chat blog post on a Friday and second of all, this post is SPEAKING to me (hence the OMG at the beginning). This past week jealousy has been creeping into my heart and mind like crazy so I am going to use this comment box as a place to vent. As a nurse, I have to work every other weekend. Most of the time it’s not bad and I don’t mind but the last couple of weekends it seems like all of my friends are out on the weekends I work and then when I have free time everyone is busy or has plans. I find myself scrolling through Instagram during my weekends at work and resenting my job because I’m working and my friends are out having fun. I get FOMO pretty badly and find myself becoming extremely emotional and I even start to resent my friends. For example I have thoughts like, “wow, my friends couldn’t wait to try this new restaurant when I’m off of work, they must not care to see me.”
Just the other night I came across a blog post by Jordan Dooley and in her post she said “you can either envy someone or encourage someone. Every time you begin to envy them, encourage them instead.” That spoke to me in so many ways. So this weekend I am going to try and remind myself that even though my friends don’t have to work weekends, they do still have crazy busy schedules and they deserve that fun night out.
Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble and I hope this comment shows just how much I appreciate you being vulnerable and opening up to us:
Hi Taylor!! Oh my gosh, love this comment and everything you are saying! Isn’t it crazy how feeling like we are missing out on something can lead to jealousy and then resentment?! It all happens so fast. And I can completely understand and feel for how you must feel as a nurse with those long hours and then missing out on half the weekends of the year. I love that quote by Jordan! Thank you so much for sharing that with me, I’m going to use that as a reminder! 🙂 I really appreciate you reading, more than you know! xo, Katey
Thank you for being so open in this post!! I can relate because my fiance has to travel a lot for work, and his schedule can be so unpredictable. He can be told on a Monday that he has to leave on Wednesday for a week and then maybe has to leave for another trip as soon as he gets back. You can imagine how frustrating this can be (especially for the planner in me lol). Anyway, I appreciate this post helping me see things in a different perspective! Your blog is truly my favorite!
Hi Dorian! Ugh, yes I can only imagine how frustrating that is! It’s got to be so difficult to even plan date nights! 🙁 I’m so sorry! Thank you so much for reading and for your comment, girl! xo, Katey
My boyfriend deployed last week and this really resonated with me! Perspective is everything. Thank you for sharing!!
Thank you so much for your sacrifice and for his service, girl! I can only imagine how strong you both are! God bless you both. xx, Katey
Katey, I’ve been reading your blog for years and posts like this are the reason why! Thank you for sharing your reality and relating to your readers.
And thanks for keeping your blog going! I have a five month old and I sometimes wonder how you’ve done it! I appreciate your content and I will miss you if you decide to hang it up one day! 🙂
Hi Haleigh! Aw thank you so much for your sweet words! Ugh 5 months is so so fun!! I mean every stage is so wonderful {and, of course, has unique challenges! 😉 }. I definitely think as Maxi gets older, I’ll slow down but I can’t ever imagine not doing this and interacting with you all. I truly cherish my relationships with my readers because y’all are the best! xo, Katey
Thank you for this reminder! I have the worst struggles with comparison and specifically mom guilt because I’m in an office all day and I have so many other moms I’m around that always talk badly about daycares and how they “just couldn’t do it” to their babies. It’s hard to sit there and remind myself that I’m not a bad parent for letting my baby go to daycare during the day, and that’s what i have to do for my family! Next time I find myself in that situation, I’ll remember to think about how fortunate I am to be able to work and how I’ve been so lucky to find such a great place full of people who care for my son while I have to work!
Hi Sam! Oh girl, I am so sorry people say that to you!! That is just absurd! Do you know how often Paul and I say Maxi needs to be around other babies and I worry she won’t share or something because she is just with me all day?! ha. I think there are only positives to both scenarios of a child being home with mom and a child being at daycare. My mom always says you are given the child you are because they need YOUR raising. Your sweet little son is thriving at daycare and will be a wonderful human being for it. Plus, what a gift that he is able to watch his mom balance both words so well! You are doing a fabulous job!!! Sending you a hug right now! xo, Katey
I feel the same way! I struggle so much working full time and missing my nine month old son so much while he is at day care every day! This post really helped and the comment above to know I am not alone. Thank you for such a great inspiration post going into the weekend!
Love this!! This is why I love COF readers- always encouraging one another! xo, Katey
Thank you for sharing and being honest! It is such a good reminder for all of us to focus on joy! You are and your family are adorable ? and God is good even through our struggles!
He truly is! Thank you so much for reading, Amy! xx, Katey
My husband worked a ton. That was the only thing I would ever complain about. It was hard to watch him work crazy hours partly at a family business and have his siblings loaf around. When he got sick with cancer the first thing he said was how he wished he hadn’t worked so much. He didn’t realize what he was giving up. He ended up dying 8 months after being diagnosed. Make sure you take time for each other work will always be there! I have people tell me all the time they envy my girls and I because we area always out and about and doing things but it is lonely always doing those things alone. The plus is we do have that flexibility others do not. Good and the bad. Love your blog and style!
Hi Autumn! Oh my goodness, your comment made me tear up. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. 🙁 I cannot imagine losing your husband on such a short notice. Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment, I truly appreciate those words of wisdom more than you know. You and your girls will be in my thoughts and prayers! Sending you so much love. xx, Katey
Katey, thank you so much for this post! My husband is a pharmacist and he manages the pharmacy where he works. The past few weeks, we’ve been on a rough stretch where he’s only had a day off per week and worked every weekend…and boy is it draining! We have a 6 month old and I notice during these stretches, I’m constantly comparing myself to people on social media and feeling the envy of all their family time…completely ridiculous, I know! I am so fortunate for my husband and our little family! When this happens, I try a trick I read from you— think of 3 people who would want to be in the situation I’m in and it helps a lot! Thanks so much for sharing, Katey!
Oh girl, YES!! The rough seasons make everyone else’s seasons look brighter. And in reality, everyone has struggles we do not see. Thank you so much for sharing that you use that trick- made my day! I’ll be thinking of y’all during this rough stretch! Thank you so much for reading my blog! xx, Katey
I read this and immediately called my boyfriend to tell him that I wasn’t alone in how I felt about our schedules. There are some days where it’s just so easy to fixate on every other couple on instagram who’s schedules just work and line up to one another’s. He works rotating shift work while I’m at a desk from 9-5 there are some days and weeks where I feel like there just isn’t enough hours in the day to enjoy him. Thank you for reminding me to look at things from a different lense and not to feel silly being displeased with out situation at times. This post was exactly what I needed today.❤️
Hi Jenn! Oh absolutely girl!! And I can only imagine how hard it is when you both have different schedules, I’m sure you feel like ships passing in the night half the time! 🙁 Seasons of life can be hard but they are so worth it!! Thank you so much for reading! xx, Katey
Thank you so much for sharing this! You have no idea how much I need someone to say this to me some days! ha! I dealt with this terribly after college, many of my friends moved to large cities and got fancy jobs while I moved back to my small town to be with my boyfriend. Social media made it SO easy for me to compare myself to others. It honestly took me 2 years to quit comparing my life to others and be truly thankful for where I was at. It seems SO silly now!
You wrote a post a few years ago titled “10 Ways to Be Happier”, I have it saved in a folder in my inbox to refer back to when I’m having a bad day. This one is getting filed there too!
P.S. I have been following your blog since I was in college, I read it religiously every morning. Thank you so much for sharing!
Hi girl! Thank you so much for such sweet words!! I feel like the comparison game really picks up after college- I know it did for me! But it’s so funny because I feel like I’ve learned we all compare ourselves to one another and yet I forget people compare themselves to me. Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment! And oh my gosh that’s from when I was pregnant, you truly are a loyal reader! Thank you!!!! xo, Katey
THANK YOU for sharing this! My husband is a teacher and varsity basketball coach, and this is something I have been struggling with. I don’t think people quite understand the amount of time outside of school/practice that goes in to the profession. When he is home he is grading or taking online classes for new endorsements, so it’s easy for me to start to feel sorry for myself. This is exactly what I needed to hear!
Oh girl 100%%% I don’t think people understand what goes into teachers and coaches’ schedules. They say, “Well they have summer off!” Well they are working during that time and 24/7 during the year! I totally feel for you! xo, Katey
Ok first let me just say I new to order those shorts ASAP. It’s so hard to find GOOD denim shorts that aren’t showing your whole butt, can I get an amen? Lol and second let me just tell you, you missing your husband while he is at work isn’t silly AT ALLLLL. At least not me, if that’s any consolation;). My fiancé ( we just got engaged two months ago ) decided about 4 months ago that we are going to move from Fort Worth to Sarasota Florida. Total whim. We’ve always wanted to live there but we said ohh we’ll go when we retire. But buying a home here just was not working out for us. I graduate Esthetics school in August and he wasn’t totally obsessed with the company he worked for here so long story short we decided to move there this year on a Monday, and he went and looked at houses on a Wednesday and ended up buying one! It’s the perfect starter home for us, needs major cosmetic work, which I’m so excited for because I like to think I’m an interior designer haha but my point is it all worked out so quickly and SO incredibly easily once we made the choice to move there. Like it was just meant to be!! He even got a job offer two weeks after we bought our home. The plan was for us both to go down and move in after I got my license. But they wanted him to start the first week of July. So we owed him down there the last week of June, I moved in with his parents (the lease isn’t up on our home in Fort Worth in August but I just didn’t want to be alone until the end of August!) so omg I’m so sorry I’m seriously the worst storyteller ever like hello no one needs all these details lol but MY POINT IS we’ve been I guess you could say “long distance” since the end of June and it’s been really really really hard. You go from seeing someone every single day. Which in our case was for maybe like 30 min at the end of the night because I work during the day then go to school till 10 pm and his job had him getting up at 5 am, but he tried to stay up till I got home so we could have some time together. Point being, I’ve never really had to miss my fiancé Luton now sometimes I just cry thinking about it but then I’m like omg Madison you are SO lucky and this is only temporary in the big scheme of life, but that doesn’t make it any less hard in the moment. So I totally feel you girl and I completely understand!!
I love you girl!!!
Be happy today, enjoy your weekend 🙂
Madison
Hi Madison!
Okay, I just loved your comment because it felt like I could hear everything you were saying over coffee. You are the sweetest! I got chills with your story because everything working out so quickly felt like a God thing. But girl, I cannot imagine how hard that is being away from the love of your life. You probably feel like, “I just need to be down there to start our lives!” I feel for you! Thank you so much for sharing that story with me. I’ll be thinking of you as you finish your license and can go move down there. You’ll have to share your reno pics because I bet you do a phenomenal job!! That has always been such a fun idea to me! Have a blessed weekend girl, you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers! xx, Katey
Awww! I love this post! You’re def right. It’s always best to shift those thoughts into positives. And it’s not silly to miss your husband. Of course when you compare it to those who don’t see their spouse due to residency, travel, deployment, etc you do feel silly because at the end of the day you know he’s home. But doesn’t change the fact that you do miss him! You’re totally not silly & thanks so much for sharing this because when we each have these thoughts we tend to think we’re the only ones who do. Seeing an influencer feel this is proof we’re all human! Love following you!! Xo, maya
Hi Maya! Thank you so much for your encouraging words, I really appreciate them more than you know!! You are so kind to validate those feelings with positivity. Thank you girl!! xo, Katey
Katey, I really needed this post today! Thank you so much for sharing, even if you did feel a little anxiety beforehand. My husband works in consulting and travels Mon-Thurs and I miss him all the time too!! I am going to take this advice and stop comparing our lives to everyone else on Instagram lol 🙂
Thanks again for a great Friday post…hope you have a great weekend and happy early birthday to your Mom!
Oh girl! I feel for you with consulting!! I know the traveling must be so hard! Thank you so so much for such a sweet comment and for reading my blog!! xo, Katey
Katey,
What a beautiful way to start my Friday morning! I LOVE knowing that you and Abi Nowlin are connecting. YOU BOTH inspire the heck out of me, as well as your sweet families! Truly, you girls are so special!
I am a 50+-year-old reader and my wonderful husband just left corporate America to start his own company. He is ALWAYS home now and I sometimes feel sad that I don’t have time at home to myself, or sad that I am now the one leaving each morning to head to a corporate job. But, it was not that long ago that our girls were little and he traveled all of the time and I prayed a 1000 prayers that he would just come home! God certainly has a sense of humor!
Thank you for the reminder that WE have to change our lense. No matter our season of life or age, deciding to find the positive in a situation builds our strength and our faith.
I so appreciate your wisdom and your heart and I love learning from you! Have an awesome weekend celebrating your special momma!
Hi Tamra! Aw yes, Abi is truly so so sweet! And thank you so much for reading my blog! What an eye-opening comment on how life kind of comes full circle! We pray for these things, they happen, and then you think, “Well this isn’t how I pictured it!” haha. Thank you so much for that, I appreciate it more than you know! 🙂 xx, Katey
This is why I have been following you for so long! I needed to read this today. My husband is a firefighter so he works 24 hours straight and I work away from the home and we have a 1 year old. It def gets stressful, and I admit I def look online and wish I had a different situation. Your post just made me level set about how blessed I truly am. And instead of focusing on how he’s gone for 24, I’m going to focus on how he is home for 48 hours. Thank you for this post and sharing how you feel! Have a great weekend!
Oh, girl! I cannot imagine how you work with a 1-year-old and your husband being gone 24-hours! You’re my hero!! I think it’s hard when Paul gets home late. And then when your husband is home he needs to rest for his job! I’m so grateful to your comment because I think we can all be encouraged and learn so much from one another! Thinking of you! xo, Katey
Thanks Katey for this post! It brought encouragement somehow.
Thank you so much for reading, Roxy! 🙂 xo, Katey
Hi Kathy, i have followed you for awhile and I can honestly say this is my favorite blog post. I can relate to what your saying and feeling like my feeling are so silly and invalid. I have been a SAHM for 21 years and my husband is a HS teacher and coach. His day starts at 5:00am and goes until 6pm and He’s gone a lot on Friday/Saturday’s during season. I found myself feeling robbed of time with him and not really enjoying the time that we got together because I was so focused on him having to be gone again for such a long work week. This summer our oldest daughter got married and our other daughter moved to Ithaca, New York to start her college caree. My husband Was able to be with me this summer and help me get through the transition because he is a teacher. that’s when my perspective changed and turned my disappointment of him being gone so much to being grateful he got so much time with us. I think life is all about putting things into perspective and that’s what I am trying to tweak a little in my life right now!
Hi Stephanie! Thank you so much for reading! I can only imagine the time strains of being a coach’s wife! They are gone so many weekends! I’m so glad he was able to be with you and what a wonderful reminder to look at the positives, even in a situation we may feel only drains us. I love that!! Thank you for such a wonderful and uplifting comment! xx, Katey
“Kathy” ??♀️??♀️ Leave it to me the very first time I ever comment on a blog post or on a Instagram post of a blogger I don’t re-read my comment. So embarrassing! I know you name is Katey!
Oh girl, don’t even worry!! xo, Katey
Thank you so much for this post!! This is something I struggle with ALL the time. My husband is gone pretty much 12 hours a day and I have night classes for grad school, so we barely see each other during the week. It’s so hard to shift my focus and be thankful for the time we do get together. It’s so comforting to know I’m not the only one that struggles with this, so thank you!!
Oh absolutely girl!! Thank you so much for reading and for your comment. I’m so glad I shared this because it is nice to know so many readers can relate and we are not alone in our feelings! xo, Katey
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!! It’s so true, as females in today’s society it is so easy to compare ourselves to others we see online. But we don’t know what battles they are fighting, even if it does seem silly. I love your encouraging words and the advice you give on how to deal with this. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing (and you look great, as usual)
XOXO
Hi Sarah! Oh absolutely!! It’s so easy to compare, yet we are just looking at something on the surface. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! 🙂 xo, Katey
Oh girl- it is so not silly that you miss your husband while he’s working! I would be the exact same way if I were you… and I was the exact same way when my husband was in nursing school! It is HARD. Praying for you guys, and love that you were vulnerable enough to share this! Xoxo!!! <3
Thank you so much for your sweet words- I appreciate them so much! Sending you a major hug right now!! xx, Katey
Beautiful post, Katey. I don’t think your feelings about missing time with your husband are silly at all. It’s only natural to want to spend as much time as possible with the ones we love. 🙂 I agree that it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap, and feeling jealousy or resentment when others seem to have something we don’t. Thank you for the good and easy ways we can turn potentially negative feelings into positive ones!
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Kathy! I appreciate it so much! Have a wonderful weekend, girl! xx, Katey
Hi! I really appreciate you writing this post, Katey. It is a wonderful reminder that not everyone’s lives are as perfect as they seem. Thanks for sharing with us some vulnerability. It is true that many people don’t notice what they don’t have until someone points it out, or until it is posted online. Social media causes people to feel FOMO, anxious or depressed at times, no matter who you are, because we all are human! Thanks for reminding me of that today in this well written post 🙂 Have a great weekend!!
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment, Virginia! I absolutely agree! We are human and social media will naturally cause positive and negative feelings. I think it’s such a powerful reminder that we just have to control what we do with those feelings. Thank you so much for reading, girl! Love your kindness! xo, Katey
I understand too how this feels as I often felt resentful of my husband’s long hours for years. But, that all changed 3 years ago when we separated for 20 months. I became a single parent to 3 little humans overnight while balancing work. We eventually were reunited and are so happy together but I don’t take him for granted any longer even when he is late coming home. Late is better than not there at all has been my lesson. Single parenting is the hardest job I have ever done but I wouldn’t take it back b/c I learned so much relying on God for my happiness and I’m stronger than I ever believed.
Oh wow!! What an incredible story, Ann. I am so sorry you went through that, but am so happy you are reunited and happy! Thank you so much for sharing your story as I know that will encourage others to feel positive- it does me! xx, Katey
Katey, thank you for opening up, keeping it real, and providing such a healthy, positive perspective! I have faithfully read your blog for years but have never felt so compelled to comment as I do today. It is because of your posts like this that I continue to read and love your blog. You are a true influencer. Look at how many other readers thus far are in similar situations with their husbands or boyfriends not being able to spend as much time with them as they’d like. I am one, too. My husband works in IT as a Network Engineer and works and travels endlessly to ensure that the employees and executives at his large company are able to have smooth, workable technology with continuity. There are endless computer emergencies – this breaks, that breaks – and if the computers don’t work properly for long, the employees and customers are angry and the company loses money. It has been especially hard for me recently, as my mother passed away. Due to his long work hours, he hasn’t been able to be at home as much to support me.
I think everyone can envy someone for something. Also, the bloggers/Instagrammers that have their husbands at home during the day may be spending just enough or too much time together and may be getting on each others’ nerves and/or nitpicking/fighting more often. Also, your husband does a great job providing for his family, and I agree that you are definitely a better wife because you have the extra strength to take away from this and to cope and raise a beautiful daughter (inside and out) at the same time! A person could definitely envy you for successfully doing this.
Thank you for all of your thoughtfulness, Katey, and for reaching out and consistently responding to your readers in the wonderful way that you do. BTW, Happy Birthday to your Mom! Is her birthday tomorrow, too?
Hi Lisa!
I’m truly blown away by your words! First, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I am sending you all my condolences and love at this time. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Secondly, aren’t these comments just incredible? I was so anxious to post this on the blog and to see all these women relate to one another I am so glad I did! What a gift we can all encourage one another! Third, oh girl you have all my sympathy for your husband’s job. I think anyone that works in IT essentially has a company in their hands because we are so run by technology these days. I know I live by my computer girl, so I can’t imagine the workload your husband has.
I love how you share the other perspective of people that have their husband home a lot! SO true! There is so much we don’t see and we all carry different blessings and hardships based upon our circumstances.
My mom’s birthday is Tuesday! 🙂 But we are just doing dinner a bit early. Thank you SO much for your heartwarming words of encouragement! I’m so honored to have you read COF and grateful to your loyalty!
xx,
Katey
This is my FAVORITE post of yours that I’ve ever read! I truly appreciate you being so vulnerable and honest and real. This post is so relatable and refreshing. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much, Kayla! 🙂
xx,
Katey
This post was so beautifully written! I remember a season early on in our marriage where my husband worked nights. It was SO hard but it made us SO strong!! I think it’s so important, especially nowadays, to not compare yourself to others on the internet but it takes daily practice and reminders like this to “shift your lens”. Great read! ?
Absolutely, Hannah! Thank you so much for your sweet comment! 🙂 xo, Katey
I LOVE your honesty in this post!!! It’s so heartwarming to hear that you love your husband now more than ever and want to spend more time with him ?. After getting divorced and being single for 7 years in my forties (with kids in college by then), I was blessed with meeting my bestie/soulmate. After 9 years together I still want to be with him all the time!! We both still work and with 4 kids between the 2 of us (in 4 different cities) and 6 grandkids our lives are crazy busy. We cherish our alone time!! Thank you for reminding me to always be greatful even in the hectic times! Prayers to you that you will be blessed with more quiet time with your honey ?
Hi Gigi! Oh I love this story! So happy to hear you found the love of your life!! With kids and grandchildren, I’m sure your life is filled with so much love!! Thank you so much for your kind words! 🙂 xx, Katey
Thank you so much for this post and the things you use your blog to share! You’ve been my absolute favorite blogger even since before you were pregnant with your daughter. I somehow always need to hear what you’re saying! Anytime I try something you have recommended I always love it (I pretty much use all the hair and beauty products you recommend haha!) and I love your style! Thank you so much for being such a positive influence to girls and inspiring me to stay true to my southern roots and style. Wishing you and your family the best!
Hi Emily!! Thank you so much for your loyalty as a reader and for your sweet words! You are the best and I’m so grateful to have you as a COF girl! Have a wonderful weekend! xo, Katey
What a FANTASTIC post!! Thank you a million times for a precious God-truth spoken here. My husband travels. We are currently living with my parents and I am staying home from a teaching job this year to help care for my mom and help my dad. It’s our season. It’s hard, wonderful, special, frustrating, and happy all rolled in one. This is life. It’s not perfect BUT we all need reminding social media is fun, inspiring, but not all there is. I’m a lot older than you, but thankful again for God using your sweet heart to share a real blog with us. Bless you precious girl!!! 🙂
Amanda, I can’t thank you enough for always being so kind, joyful and uplifting on my blog! You have SO much going on in this season of life and it would be a lot on anyone. But you’re absolutely right, we just have to take the fun from social media and view it just as that! A social place for friendships, not comparison. 🙂 Thank you for reading and just always being so wonderful!! I’ll be thinking of you! xo, Katey
Wow, your timing for this post could not have been more perfect! I struggle with getting enough time with my husband also. He is a fireman and works 10, 24 hour shifts a month, and when he’s off he’s working almost 10 hour days running his landscaping business. So much of the time I forget to be grateful that he has his dream job and his business is so successful. We have 3 kids 5 and under, and this week we all got a stomach bug. So you can imagine the complaining that’s been going on. Thank you so much for sharing!
Oh goodness, I hope your family is all better from that! I feel sorry for us when we all have a stomach bug so I can’t imagine how hard it is with 3 little ones! 🙁 But thank you so much for reading and for your sweet comment! You are SO valid in those feelings- with your husband serving his community, I can only imagine I would feel like, “But we need him at home!” I love your comment on perspective and thank you so much for sharing! xo, Katey
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this Katey! You are so sweet, strong, and real for doing so. This will help so many, including myself who struggle with comparison here and there or often.
xo Laura Leigh
Louella Reese
Thank you so much for writing this post! I needed that reminder 🙂
I teared up reading this! You make many good points, and even though I am not religious, it really spoke to me. We’re all out here for a reason, and that’s different than anyone else’s. I often find myself overwhelmed and envious of others with more “free time,” but it’s good to be reminded we all have a purpose and can be human! You touch lives every day with your sweet thoughts, awesome outfits, and precious baby!! (Seriously. Some days watching cute baby videos is all that keeps me at work) so thank you!
Hi love! Oh absolutely!! Thank you so much for your sweet words and comment! And thank you for loving Maxi videos! You know that means the world to me!! xo, Katey
You are just precious Katey! We’ve chatted a few times via your Instagram posts! I don’t remember how I found your Insta, but I am so glad I did and now I’m a happy subscriber to your morning emails! It is posts like these that keep me so addicted to your site! I’m a girl that keeps ALLL my makeup in one bag (and typically applies in the car on the run!!), but even with a hurried morning routine (or lack there of..lol!) there is still something lovely I can always glean from your posts! Thank you my friend!
XO,
Meredith
Hi Meredith! You are so sweet, THANK YOU!! Hey- you’re a busy girl and if I had to leave the house a lot I’d probably be doing lipstick at a red light, too! haha. Thank you so much for such a kind comment! xo, Katey