Fear is a bit of an odd topic to talk about on a blog with “frivolity” in the title- isn’t it?! You might be thinking, “Are we talking about a fear of acne scars because surely you have a serum for that?!” I wanted to piggyback my blog post on self-love from Thursday and talk about fears. While I firmly believe you have to do frivolous things like enjoy that cup of Starbucks {picture for reference 😉 } to spoil yourself, I think opening up about your fears plays a huge factor in loving yourself. While the label of fear can leave us with a negative connotation, I believe the act of ownership can lead to something positive. For starters, random fears can be a nod to what makes us unique. I’m probably always going to be afraid of heights, and that’s okay. It makes me, me, and quite frankly, my husband finds it endearing when I have to close my eyes as he drives over a high overpass. But acknowledgment can also lead to taking control of the fear. Last week I was talking to a friend about things that make me nervous during the week. Mid-conversation, I said, “Well, I guess once I verbalize these I don’t really feel like it’s all that bad.” Instead of feeling embarrassed for fearing something I do daily, I felt empowered. It was as if my acknowledgment was an invitation for me to “give it to God” and after that brief conversation, I was far more at peace. Today, I wanted to encourage you to start your Monday by listing 5 fears that you have. Let’s start with smaller fears- I’m not saying you need to start your week by deep diving into a worry on health or a family member hurting. You can, of course, but I want to keep this light to start. Maybe this will spur you to journal some deeper ones this evening!

But let’s just take 5 things you can see potentially causing you stress/worry/grief this week and just verbalize them. I don’t list 5 small fears to seem trivial or disregard large fears, but I always think you should start small with any practice. If you sleep in your makeup and want to start a skincare routine, I’m certainly not going to hand you 4 serums to rotate. And I think that starting small, like de-stressing on sites like https://daftarroulette.online/, always leads to a long-term habit.

I’ll go first!

A Few Of My Fears:

1. I have an irrational fear of letting strangers/people I barely know down. I didn’t realize this wasn’t a “normal” {I hate the term normal since it’s relative} thing until a few months into my first community group at church. A friend of mine said, “Wait, so you fear upsetting an acquaintance over someone you are close with?” It was then I recognized that wasn’t the most common fear. I think it’s because I know that people I’m close to really understand me, so I know they extend me grace and lovingly understand when I can’t do something. Paul and I joke that I’d cook a stranger a casserole at 3 a.m. if they asked because I don’t want to upset them. When I express this fear out loud, I completely recognize that it’s ridiculous since I can’t control how another person feels about my actions, and honestly, that will NEVER lead to peace. I try to work on this by continually reminding myself that God knows my heart better than I do, and when the closer I draw to him, the less I rely on pleasing people.
2. HEIGHTS. Oh my gosh- don’t take me on a roller coaster. I don’t even like overpasses driving and OF COURSE, I live in the DFW where we have some of the highest. When people go 70 mph on an overpass? WHY?! Where are you going that you need to speed 140 feet in the air?- I’m looking at you LBJ & Central Expressway. Paul is currently looking over my shoulder saying my fear of overpasses should be a fear in an of itself, but we are putting that together with heights. We can’t get too negative around here, right?! My in-laws have a catwalk in their upstairs and I nearly can’t walk on it. Maxi will walk on it to go to their movie room so I, of course, follow her and I’m like, “Jesus, take the wheel I cannot do this.” haha. When I was in college my sorority sisters tried to help me overcome it by taking me to a ropes course. NOPE! File that under a firm, “Never doing that again.” Conquering the fear doesn’t help- or so I say. I did the ropes course. I zip lined. All I did was cry because I was mad I had to do it. haha.
3. Forgetting to respond to e-mails. I’ll be cooking dinner and then think, “Wait did I respond to that e-mail I read last Thursday at 7:15?” I know- this one is a bit far out. And I’ll stop mid sauté and go grab my laptop to make sure I didn’t forget. It’s just so random, but I enjoy and appreciate communication with readers via e-mail! I have to laugh because motherhood did play a joke on that fear. Back in January, Maxi got into my phone {which rarely ever happens- she’s just not interested in it yet} and she opened at least 30-something e-mails while I was cooking dinner and they were lost, for about a month. So I had to do the whole “Sorry, my dog ate my homework” situation, except, “My toddler got into my e-mails” last week. Thankfully, everyone was a gem about it and totally understood. When I verbalize this small fear, I’m like, “What is the worst that happens- it’s an E-MAIL?!” But I think this one naturally ties in with the first fear I listed.
4. Maxi’s picky eater phases. You know the drill. One day your two-year-old is eating broccoli and salmon and you think, “I AM MOMMY TOP CHEF, HEAR ME ROAR!” The next they only take a bite of macaroni and cheese and you cook up the entire fridge and they still don’t touch it. It’s such a normal part of her development and the rational mom side of me KNOWS 90% of humans have picky eater stages and we all grow up just fine to eat well-balanced meals as adults. But when Maxi has those days where I can’t get her to eat anything, I fear she’ll never get out of the phase. I’ll be cooking something I think I can convince her to eat and my thoughts will go to her being 57 years old and only eating Chick-Fil-A and it all being my fault. haha. I share this absurd fear because I’m sure so many of you toddler moms can relate- and because writing it out just helps me realize that I am offering her as many healthy options as I can, and that’s all you can do some days with toddlers.
5. I fear loose dogs on walks! I’m a dog lover. I’ve always had a dog and can’t really imagine our family ever not having a dog. But I definitely get nervous when I’m on a walk with Maxi and I see a dog in the front yard, not on a leash. I’ve never had a bad experience or known someone to be attacked, but maybe it’s my mommy defense on guard! Last Friday I had taken Maxi to the park and a stray dog came to the park, so I just packed up and we left. I’ll even walk on certain streets when I know some houses normally have their dogs out in the front yard not leashed.

I could go on and on. I could talk small fears like how I am convinced I messed up my deviated septum surgery when Maxi’s head hit my nose multiple times. ha. Or I could talk deep fears like how I truly fear how much I let people pleasing affect my life. But my main point here is that seemingly small fears can happen a lot during the week. And those minute fears that you think about numerous times, can build up to cause a lot of grief. So whether you take this exercise to appreciate what makes you unique or you leave this feeling far more at peace by verbalizing small fears, I hope you take 5 minutes this morning with your coffee to try it out. This may not have a ton to do with frivolity, but I didn’t feel I could adequately talk about self-love and not bring up the small thorns to our rose!

I’ll end this post by sharing a few of my favorite verses and quotes for dealing with fears. This isn’t normal table talk here at Chronicles of Frivolity, but I’m sure we all have the Sunday Scaries/Monday Fears in common. So let’s chat about it!

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

“Worry does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.”

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.” John 14:1

“Trade your worry for worship.”

“And every day the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, ‘This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!’ And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, ‘No. This is what’s important.'” -Iain Thomas