One of my goals in motherhood is to write my children a letter for each of their birthdays. I spend the night before her birthday writing these letters and boy, do I have one good cry. It’s one of my favorite traditions I pray I never stop doing. When they turn 18, my hope is to give them a box or book of all of the letters. Then, no matter where they are off to in life {hopefully college down the street 😉 I can wish right?! haha} they can always reference just how much we love them. Each year I share a little bit of those letters here. In part, I do this so maybe you can get to know our family better, but I also just love to read about how much mothers love their children. It’s this uniting bond that we all have no matter how we parent- which I adore. 

My darling girl, today you are 3! I cannot imagine a sweeter, more tender soul. You love cinnamon sugar toast, playing with your Barbies, and being in mama’s bed. Each morning you wake up and the first thing you say to us is, “Did you sleep good, mommy and daddy?” At the end of each dance class, you run out to the lobby, jump in my arms and say, “Oh mommy! I missed you!” I feel so lucky to be the recipient of your joy each and every day.

I know I have to say I am your mother and not your best friend, but secretly you are MY best friend. 3 is a reminder that in 2 years you go to Kindergarten and our days will be so different. Our days won’t be filled with pajamas and sharing Goldfish. They will be filled with you leaving and coming back. More seasoned mothers tell me this is a wonderful transition and the next stage is so fun, but for now, it feels scary. It feels like I need to bottle up 3. It feels like a clock ticking. I heard another mother say that raising your children is the most beautiful breakup you could ever have in life. You need me so greatly now, and if I do my job well, you won’t as much as each birthday passes.

I could make pages of lists of things I want you to know in life. Yes, you need more sunscreen than you think. Yes, always sleep on a difficult e-mail. No, that breakup will not be the end of the world. But one of my greatest wishes is for you to know how much we adore you. If you knew just a tenth of how proud we are of you, then my dear, you would be the most confident little girl in the whole entire world. So much of my life I have spent defining myself by how “correct” I could be. Could I do this perfectly? Could I be exactly what this friend needed? But you make me see myself in such a different light. You make me see myself how God sees us. You don’t need a perfect mommy or a perfect meal or a perfectly planned afternoon. You just need me. And that realization is one of the most defining things in my life. You may not fully understand until you have children of your own one day, but always walk in the truth that your parents are your biggest fans and live for your joy.

In a few short months, you will seem even older to me as you take on the role of big sister, but you will always be my baby. We will grow as a family and grow in our bond. There may be afternoons you must share my time, there may be moments you must share my lap, and there will definitely be times you must share your spot in our bed. But neither of you will ever have to share the amount of love I have. It won’t divide, it will grow. And as you have patience with me as I navigate this new season, I know you will flourish into a helper and a little leader. I am a big sister too and know just how important it is. I hope you never forget that no matter how old you get, you can always crawl in mama’s bed with a piece of cinnamon sugar toast and be held in my arms.

Love,

Mommy