*Trigger Warning* If you have been through a pregnancy with complications, this may be hard to read as I go into detail about my experience.
I always get so emotional leading up to writing a birth story. I write them so that I can remember all the details fresh in my mind because I know things will escape me soon enough. To start with Harry’s birth story, we have to start in January.
It felt like a textbook pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant the week we were going to have a fertility procedure/test done and it was so exciting! I got sick right off the bat, so as miserable as I felt, I was thrilled to have physical signs that my baby was healthy and growing. I had a bit of spotting here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary. We spent New Year’s Eve on the couch watching The Morning Show and I kept imagining ring in 2021 with a new baby on my hip. Our gender reveal service is the perfect way to determine whether you are having a boy or a girl. A Date With Baby offers 3D Ultrasound services in Newmarket, ON that enable you to see your baby in incredibly detail.
On January 14th, I woke up around 4 am with what felt like intense period cramps and back pain. I knew you “felt things” sooner the second time around, so I kind of assumed braxton hicks or I just needed some pregnancy back pain relief. I got up, drank some water, and tried to go back to sleep. I woke back up around 5:30 and they had subsided, so I showered and got ready for my day. We took Maxi to Mother’s Day Out and I headed back to the house to meet my photographer, Angie. We weren’t shooting much that day, maybe for 30 minutes. When she left, I went to the bathroom and saw I was bleeding. I got nervous thinking I was spotting again, so I sat on our sofa and called Paul and my OB. My OB said for me to stay down for an hour, rest, and meet her in her office. Paul came home and I went back to the bathroom and started to hemorrhage. I sat in the bathroom floor in a pool of blood crying and thinking the worst. We immediately got in Paul’s truck and headed to the OB like that one at NYC.
We got a 3d ultrasound, and if you’ve been in this position before, you know how they explain it is a threatened pregnancy. When this is first happening, there is a bit of a waiting period where they have to see what is happening with the baby. Words like “abruption” were thrown around and I was monitored that entire afternoon. Hemorrhages and even placenta abruptions aren’t rare in pregnancy {although hemorrhages are far more rare in your second trimester} but they hadn’t seen what they were seeing on the monitor with me before. The bleeding slowed and I was able to go home with orders to be on bed rest and come back the next day.
The entire night I bled so much. I had heard his heartbeat on the ultrasound, so I knew he was “okay” but I couldn’t wrap my head around all the blood. I’ve had 9 surgeries before, one being emergency ovarian while my ovary was contorted. I do not try to work myself up over issues like this. But I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact he was okay, much less myself with the amount of blood I was seeing. I had hemorrhaged going on 12 hours. We were on the phone with my OB and headed back to the hospital for more monitoring.
Again, we saw that his heartbeat was okay, but the entire ultrasound was cloudy with the placenta filled with blood. They saw a really large hemorrhage at the top of my placenta {the size of the baby}, a smaller one at the bottom, and the top one looking like it was abrupting. From there I was sent to an MFM {a high-risk OB} for further monitoring.
Now, this is where if I were reading a stranger’s birth story I would think, “Wait?! How did you not get straight answers?!” But after talking with many of you all that had high-risk pregnancies, this is very normal. Brilliant medical professionals are monitoring a pregnancy and you just don’t know all the answers until baby is born. I spent every week alternating with my MFM and my OB. They’d do my ultrasounds and also sent my ultrasounds to other doctors since they just hadn’t seen my type of hemorrhage before. For those that work in obstetrics, I’ll try to explain. Basically, my entire placenta was cloudy with blood, and he was swallowing blood and not growing. He was 7th percentile I believe. But the top hemorrhage kept growing and looking like it was abrupting and moving each week. Our MFM kept telling us he hadn’t seen this before and I think that’s why we couldn’t get a true answer on what the hemorrhage was doing. Usually, in a pregnancy, they heal on their own, but this was almost moving along the placenta. I was on and off strict bed rest and then put on light bed rest or pelvic rest. It changed depending on my bleeding and for his growth. My MFM told me that bed rest can sometimes affect their growth, so it was this song and dance we played to kind of gauge how much movement my body could handle each week based on his growth and my bleeding. I’d go 3 days not bleeding, then hemorrhage again for a few days, and again the cycle would continue.
Valentine’s Day was one of the worst days of my life, but was the start of seeing some miraculous changes. We headed to our appointment and I was honestly feeling pretty positive based on my bleeding. I was even hoping we’d get to grab dinner together after since Maxi was with my parents’ during my appointment. I heard the ultrasound technician in the hall talking to my MFM. She was saying, “It looks worse.” And then our doctor walked in.
I can’t even remember that ultrasound. He was switching back and forth between all these monitors and colors showing blood vs. amniotic fluid. At the end I just remember he said, “I’m really sorry, but we haven’t seen this before. I don’t know what to tell you. I can tell you he’s under a lot of stress and it doesn’t look good.” I immediately started bawling and just begging the doctor for answers. I kept saying, “But what does that mean!”
He was so compassionate and just kept telling me we had to take this week by week to see the stress he was under. He said that best-case scenario we could keep him in until 35 weeks, but he kept repeating to me that he wasn’t viable right now so he just couldn’t give me an answer. He said in order for him to be okay, he would need to reposition himself and put his foot on one of the hemorrhages to try and provide some pressure. This would protect both me and him.
Paul drove me to a grocery store parking lot because I just needed to cry before we got home to see Maxi. I bawled not understanding how I could feel my baby move inside of me, but he was so stressed in my womb, and I couldn’t fix it for him.
This may seem a bit ironic {as I share so much of my life online} but I’m fiercely private. My closest friends tell everyone that the one thing most people don’t know about me is that I’m shy and I don’t share a lot of personal things. But that weekend I asked EVERYONE to pray. I asked friends on Facebook. I asked my high school cheer coach. I asked friends from childhood. I begged everyone to pray that Harry would be under less stress, that my hemorrhages would heal, that they’d stop moving and growing. Our community group prayed over me. My family prayed over me.
And this is where I tear up because I know God speaks to us through people. I was in bed that following week bored out of my mind. You always *think* bed rest would be this lovely thing where you can read books, watch shows, etc. But I couldn’t even turn on the TV to watch something like Housewives because it seemed pointless. I couldn’t open my e-mail to work. It all felt trivial. Maxi was napping next to me and I couldn’t even close my eyes to nap with her. I just sat in bed thinking what would happen to my baby. I ended up checking Facebook messages out of boredom. I NEVER check Facebook messages. A childhood friend from church had messaged me. I haven’t seen her in goodness, maybe 15 years?! She had lived in Brussels and I wasn’t sure if she was back in Atlanta or still there. She told me she had a dream that I had my baby at full term and that everyone in the room was saying it was a miracle he was full term. She woke up thinking it was so random she would dream that, and went to my Facebook page and saw what was going on with our pregnancy and felt God had her tell me he was going to be okay. Y’all, from that moment on I had perfect peace! We continued weekly MFM appointments and OB appointments. Some weeks we’d see positive change and some weeks we’d still be told they didn’t know what was going on. But each week I told people, “I know he is going to be okay.“
I cry as I type this, but Harry did just what my MFM said would need to happen. I hadn’t felt him move all that much, to be honest, he hardly moved in the womb compared to Maxi. We went to my next appointment {this one with my OB} and as we started the ultrasound they said, “He put his foot there! He put his foot there!” He knew exactly what he needed to do to keep us safe {abruptions and long-term hemorrhaging can be harmful to mama and baby} and I was so proud of him. This was why I didn’t feel him a lot. He was keeping his foot there. This helped slow the bleeding tremendously.
Around 34 weeks we found that I had a velamentous cord insertion as well. The hemorrhages with the cord insertion led to a complication less than 2% of pregnant women have- go figure! But I remember my last ultrasound with my OB and she was smiling so big just saying she couldn’t believe we made it this far and the other doctors that had looked at my ultrasounds couldn’t believe it either. I knew that dream was such a wink from the Lord, reminding me he loved my son more than I did, and he wanted him safe.
At 39 weeks they said we needed to induce because we needed this placenta out of me and I had started to bleed again. I wasn’t nervous about the induction because I was 3 cm dilated and even though my water broke with Maxi, I had to get Pitocin, so this didn’t feel new.
The day before my induction, I had to get my COVID test {which didn’t hurt, it just felt weird!} and then we spent the day with Maxi. I woke up the next morning pretty early and we headed to the hospital at 6:45. Once I checked in, they had me shower just in case I’d need a c-section. With the velamentous cord insertion, there was a chance that would happen. It felt strange to be at the hospital for our birth with just Paul. With Maxi’s birth, our hospital room was filled with family and friends all day. But I started to be so anxious about Harry and my placenta, that I’m glad it was just the two of us, plus our nurse. I LOVE l&d nurses and the support and advocacy they provide, but during COVID, mine felt like even more of an integral part of the emotional support I needed. She kept rubbing my back telling me I seemed anxious and I told her that I think the emotions of the pregnancy were finally hitting me. I felt like I was in such an emotional bubble of protection after my friend told me about her dream, that sitting in the hospital room and hearing the nurses discuss the placenta and cord over and over again made me just feel it even more. My OB told me it was an absolute miracle we were sitting here at 39 weeks with a healthy baby, but I still felt emotional.
Around 11, I got my epidural. It had some spots it didn’t take. My legs were numb, but I still felt from my belly button to the top of my thighs. Bless the anesthesiologist for coming back and giving me some different medicine. I went from a 5 to a 10 in maybe 30 minutes. I think once I was relaxed from the pain and not feeling as much, my body was able to calm and progress. My OB came in and told me it was time to start pushing. I pushed about 3 times and he was out! I joke that I had such a horrible pregnancy the Lord was so so gracious in my delivery! He was born at 1:32, 7 pounds 4 ounces, and 19 inches long. I was able to pull him out and as I held him I just kept crying to my OB telling her thank you. When the placenta was delivered she showed it to us and everyone in the room kept saying, “HOW is he okay?!” and then they sent it off to the lab. It was crazy to see it all, but a beautiful reminder from the Lord that he cares so deeply for his children.
Holding Harry for the first time just felt like 20 weeks of anxiety melting away on my chest. He was here. He was totally safe. He was perfect. He was healthy. He was ours.
“For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37
I’m not the first woman to have a high-risk pregnancy, and I certainly won’t be the last. I’m sure some of you reading this right now have a pregnancy complication you didn’t expect. One you cry over, worry over, pray over. In the nights that I would sit in the bathroom bleeding and worrying about my son, I googled EVERYTHING. I read every medical study I could. I read every blog post I could. I listened to any podcast I could find on women that had hemorrhages and abruptions and cord issues.
Sister, let me tell you right now, you are strong. You are protecting your baby. You didn’t cause this rare issue. I remember thinking back to any movement I had made as if that could possibly have accounted for a complication less than 2% of pregnancies have. If I could hug you right now, I would. I’d tell you to rest in his peace and know that the Lord loves you and your baby and will care for you. Lean into your community of people and let him speak to you through them. My childhood friend’s dream gave me confidence during many appointments where we left feeling like we had more questions than answers. As Harry sleeps on my chest while I hold him, I know that we will forever share a special bond. He kept us safe with his little foot and he allowed me to really slow down and listen to the Lord promising he would provide. I look at him and I just see the Lord reminding me of his provision and power.
One day these details will get fuzzy, but my gratitude to our doctors, nurses, ultrasound technicians never will. I’ll forget how I felt on and off bed rest, but I’ll never forget the relief of holding him for the first time. And I’ll print this blog post as a reminder to myself that miracles do happen, and my sweet baby boy is one we have been entrusted with.
Such a beautiful and powerful story. Congratulations! He is precious.
Thank you so much, girl!! xx, Katey
I am SO glad Harry is here safe. What a blessing from the Lord! Thank you for sharing such a private story.
I don’t know what tests your MFM is doing, but maybe bring up antiphospholipid syndrome (APS) with them. My twin sister lost her baby boy at 23 weeks and your stories are strikingly similar. The hemorrhaging in and off,, Doctors not knowing, etc. My sister got some lab tests done after her stillbirth, and ended up having APS. It was great to finally know what had happened.
She is now due with a little girl next month and both are as healthy as can be! Treatment was a very easy fix. Just thought I’d share as your stories were are SO similar.
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for telling me this!! Definitely will look into it. We still don’t know what caused it, but we will look at further testing. Thank you so much! Sending love to your sister for all she has been through. 🙁
You’re welcome! It’s a simple lab test. ?
Oh my gosh Katey I can’t imagine the worry you went through! He is a miracle boy! I had a minor placental issue compared to this but the worry was immense. Any time our babies are involved we mamas go into overdrive! What a blessing that everyone is doing so well today!
I just sobbed at my desk reading this! What a stressful and still beautiful time of your life! God is so good! What an amazing testimony Harry will have to share with people someday.
YOU are so amazing! God is so good! You have made a difference by sharing your powerful story. Thank you. Congratulations to you and your sweet family!!
God is so so good. You are one strong mama. Thanking the Lord both you and Harry and healthy and safe. You have a beautiful family!
Katey, that is such a beautiful and amazing story, thank you for sharing! I am not an emotional type and you have me in tears. I am so glad everything worked out okay.
I had a devastating miscarriage between my two children, and I understand the feeling of holding your baby after they survive a scary pregnancy! It is the best feeling in the world. So thankful you have your two precious babies with you earthside! Thank you for sharing.
Such a powerful story! So glad everyone is safe and sound! Harry is perfect in every way possible.
I am sobbing reading this post. God was definitely holding you two in the palm of his hand. It can be hard in the moment to know his reasoning, but he has a purpose for everything! Harry is the perfect addition to your beautiful family.
Katey, I’m sitting here sobbing right now. This was exactly what I needed this morning ? We got some really scary news about our baby boy last week & I had my first appointment with my MFM doctor this week. I had held onto hope that the appointment would provide me some comfort but I left with even more questions than before. My friends and family keep trying to remind me that the Lord performs miracles but I just haven’t been able to really FEEL that as I’ve been overwhelmed with my own selfish emotions. Your story hit my heart a little differently though, and for the first time in many days, I feel hope. I know that God is just asking me to have faith in His plan. Thank you for this reminder. I will do my best to remember it as I carry on with the second half of my pregnancy. I too pray that we’ll be holding our little boy in our arms at the end of all of this ? Blessings for your sweet family!
This is one of the most beautifully written , vulnerable posts. Thank you for sharing … it acts as such a huge reminder how good our God is. I had to stop and take a moment at multiple parts of this post just to stare at and kiss MY baby. They are such miracles. I’m so thrilled for your sweet little family that you are all happy, healthy, & safe!
I’m sniffling all the way through this. Praise the Lord for a healthy baby and a safe delivery! Congrats to your sweet family! ?
So beautiful! Congratulations, Katey! ❤️✨
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Thank you for sharing and prayers continually lifted! I’m so glad things worked out. It is so amazing that he kept his foot in place…so beautiful!
Katey, such a beautiful and emotional birth story. God is good and your son is perfect❤️
So so so amazing. God works in such beautiful ways. Thank you for opening up and sharing this. Bless you and that amazing, beautiful, strong son of yours!!
What a beautiful, emotional, miraculous story! It is amazing how much our children love us even from the womb. Congrats on your baby boy and may God continue to bless your family!
I’m in tears. So beautiful! What an amazing story of the Lord’s provision over us. Wow! That baby boy is made to do some great things for God! He’s got a big story to tell.
I know the same of our miracle baby. After years of infertility, I watch my 3 year old in awe of God. Even now as we struggle again to conceive, I KNOW that His plan is bigger and better than my wildest dreams. I feel God’s peace and embrace over our family.
Your story is beautiful and gives so much hope! Thank you for sharing.
I’m 29 weeks pregnant and in absolute tears reading your post. God is so good and this is such a powerful reminder. Congrats on your precious baby boy!
Insanely powerful story! Wow! So glad you and Harry are safe. What an awesome God ?
So glad you and Harry are healthy! What an amazing story. I also had a pregnancy complication with my now 18 month old son. I hear so many stories and while most situations are different, it’s more common than I realized to go through something but it feels so lonely at the time! Such a stressful and difficult situation but makes it so much sweeter when they are here.
Wow! ? I am so glad you and Harry are okay and healthy. I love hearing birth stories now that I’m a mom. It’s so beautifully amazing and even more so when you have a scary situation like that. It’s hard to imagine that someone could love our children more than us, and yet, He does. ? What a testimony Harry will have for his life. And so wild the doctor would say he needs to put his foot there and then he actually did put it there! What a miracle!
Thank you for sharing something so personal. It will be such a blessing to other mommas out there not receiving good news during their pregnancy. My middle son had therapies for a year, we went to a lot of specialist Dr appointments, did multiple tests and I spent hours searching the internet and crying. I don’t remember ever finding anything uplifting or hopeful. I am so blessed and thankful that he’s doing better now and it didn’t turn out to be worse. I pray this blog post and your story does give others hope and show them the power of God and prayer.
I have chills, I am crying, I am just so genuinely happy for you and your sweet, sweet family. Harry is a little warrior ♥️
What a blessing Harry is here healthy and you are too. God is so good and faithful. ??✝️
What an amazing story!! Your story is a true testimony that prayers really do work. Thank you so much for sharing!
This is a stunningly beautiful story, God was clearly with you not only through the pregnancy but as you wrote it! Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!!! Hallelujah!
Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad everything was okay. I went through IVF and finally got pregnant with twins. Then it happened. I hemorrhaged as well. I lost one of the babies. I kept telling myself we just had to get to 32 weeks because it was scary to feel like I couldn’t keep him safe in me. I wanted him out because it made me even more sick to feel like my body was hurting my baby. It was awful. But he will be two in September and he is the most amazing little boy. I sit here in bed with him, watching cartoons, as I write this, in absolute amazement God made him for our family and got him here safely. Thank you SO much sharing. Too many women/families don’t talk about the scary/hard/complicated things that go along with getting pregnant, maintaining a pregnancy and labor but everyone seems to have an opinion about the less important stuff like an epidural or not, and screen time. You sharing with us your journey is so empowering to others going through this and even people who are not, but can now see a little window into what happens behind closed doors. Thank you and may God continue to bless your family!
My goodness I have chills reading… God is so good! So glad Harry is safe and healthy! You too!! ❤️
Praise God! To Him be alllll the glory! Congratulations! He’s beautiful!!! I have a 9 week old grand daughter – God opened the door for me and the dad to be present in the room when she was born – ONLY GOD! NO ONE else I know has had this privilege with all this Covid stuff … I’ll never forget the privilege God gave me to be present in that room!
Wow this is an amazing story. What a miracle he is. God is good! So glad you all are safe and healthy! I was high risk with both my pregnancies due to auto immune diseases. My first delivered at 35 weeks and healthy as can be. Not a horrible pregnancy and had to have c section bc he was breech. My auto immune stuff disappeared with him and did all the way until he was 14 months. Then I got pregnant again. This pregnancy was awful my auto
Immune stuff kicked into gear and never let up. I thought horrible pregnancy maybe my labor will be fine. I was trying for a vbac and he was head down the whole time. I went into labor at 37 weeks my mfm doc gave me an ultrasound as I was in labor for one last check and she said I needed to change my plan and have a c section for the safety of me and baby. I had bandls ring where my uterus was thicker at the top making labor hard to progress and uterine rupture. I was already at risk for that from my previous c section. Was told to go to hospital now and get admitted. He was also face up so the back labor was excruciating. My ob still wanted to give me a shot at a vbac so we tried. Got an epidural and rested. Got to 5 cm and there was a lot of blood and blood in my urine and she didn’t know where it was all coming from so she called it and said c section now. My epidural wore off and more didn’t take so I felt the c section. It was awful. I was screaming and they kept pumping me with drugs to try and help the pain and I ended up with a very bad reaction. Baby was healthy and never needed to go to nicu. Praise god again both my boys born early and not needing to go to nicu! He was born at 7:23 and I didn’t come to until 9:30ish. I remember everything unfortunately and 7 weeks in it still haunts me. But we are both healthy and safe so that’s all that matters! Sorry for my long story it feels good to get it out as well! So many things you wish could happen and they don’t but in the end healthy mom and baby is all that matters!
Such a beautiful story, thank you for sharing. I am so glad you are both well. God is good. Lots of love!
This is such an amazing story, Katie! I understand how God speaks to us through other people or things. I had an interesting story with my grandmother, who was precious to me and my best friend. She passed unexpectedly and was a two time breast cancer survivor many years previously. You know how seeing cardinals is a sign from our loved ones who have passed? Well my mom and I had very strange encounters with cardinals at the exact times we would be talking about my Nana. One would literally show up at that exact moment and squawk at us for several minutes! Fast forward to two years ago and I was in the prime of life, just brought my oldest to college, which was traumatic and I missed her terribly. I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and I was floored. I led a healthy and active lifestyle, never missed a check up, even had genetic testing and everything was great; this was not on my radar. I was paralyzed with fear and anyone that has been through this will tell you that the waiting and not knowing is the worst. I begged God and my grandmother for a sign to let me know I would be okay, as I cried for hours on end, everyday. Two weeks later, as I was being checked in for my surgery, I sat in a room answering questions for the nurse and I turned to look at the table next to me and there was an old random xmas decoration(this was September)with a dusty vase and a big cardinal staring at me. I knew in that moment my surgery would go well and I would be okay. My fear lifted like a veil; it was God and my nana speaking to me!
That is such a beautiful story!! Thank you for sharing!! xo
Thank you for sharing. God is so good. I am in tears and so blessed by your story. I’m pregnant with my first.
This is so absolutely amazing and beautiful, I am just at a loss for words. You’re so strong, Katey! I love that baby Harry is already protecting his mama. Congratulations again!!
This was beautiful ??
Hi Katey,
Thank you for sharing your birth story and pregnancy journey. I’m 36 weeks myself, and have dealt with hemorrhaging in my pregnancy, starting at 8 weeks. I also was diagnosed with VCI at my 20 week scan. I go for follow ups every 3-4 weeks to see how the growth and cord are. There’s a Facebook group for people with VCI to share perspectives and experiences – one day a woman posted a question asking whom else with VCI had hemorrhaging. and SO MANY people commented that they did. To my knowledge, there is no confirmed medical link between the two, but something everyone thought was very interesting to have had in common. Just thought I would share! Good luck with Harry!
This is exactly what happened to me during my pregnancy!!! I tried keeping him in but I went into labor at 23 weeks and 5 days. He lived for a month and we are so grateful God made us his parents. Please know how healing it was to read this and know someone else experienced my exact pregnancy difficulties. Enjoy that sweet babe!
Oh Hannah! I have tears in my eyes reading this comment. I cannot imagine the pain you have of losing your sweet son, and the strength you possess. What a joyous day it will be to be with him in heaven. Sending you so much love. Please know I will always have you in my prayers. xx, Katey
I’m late reading this, but I’m so in awe. Of Harry, of the situation, but most of all – of you! I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to put on a brave face for your daughter and to continue creating content and having a cheerful online presence while simultaneously having those awful nights on the bathroom floor. What a rockstar you are. Your grace is inspiring and Harry is such a beacon of hope and light and all that is good in the world. I wish you, Harry, Paul, and Maxi a Christmas season filled with nothing but peace. Thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful story of strength and Faith . And shows what Our savior can do and in so many different ways reach out to us with messages to strengthen us & renew our faith in him . We just have to listen . You and your family are perfect . You are very Blessed and I am blessed to know you & your Babies .