[My mom and I! The one person who has truly taught me how to seek joy in the Lord, spread joy through serving and savor joy in each and every little shopping trip with your girlfriends! Image by: Carmen Evans]
Last week I took the opportunity to do one of my favorite aspects of blogging: listen to my readers. I do a survey twice a year along with a focus group to hear what they want from my blog and what direction they want it to go into. While, I will always stay genuine to my style, taste and understanding of what God wants me to do, I love to keep your views in perspective while I make every decision!
If you’ve ever wanted to realize you can’t please people, try reading 1,000 free responses from strangers.
My last question of the survey, I asked my readers what they wanted to see on the blog more [giveaways, makeup tutorials, etc.]. This is where it got a little funny!
A few sample responses:
1.Stop wearing pink lipstick. It looks immature.
2.I honestly can’t get enough of your pink lipstick. I buy 4 tubes at a time because I think it’s so cool you have a staple item you never switch up!
3.I can’t relate to you because of some pricier items you post.
4.I would honestly prefer if you would start posting more high end items, because I hate spending $45 on a shirt and knowing it won’t last for 4 years.
5.You’ve changed.
6.You’re one of the only bloggers I’ve followed for years that hasn’t changed.
7.You shouldn’t post about your religion. Religion doesn’t mix with a fashion blog.
8.I follow your blog because you do share your love for Jesus!
I believe in a humorous God because no joke, y’all, these responses where right after one another. I read each response [total was 1,000] and I couldn’t help but chuckle that God placed these responses back-to-back as an opportunity to challenge me.
He wanted to challenge me to say, “Are you using COF in 2016 to please people or to serve people?”
I don’t share these responses to say, “Woe is me. People gave me conflicting views.” That’s the whole point of a survey! I want to see the differences! But I post these responses, because I think as women we struggle with people pleasing. And any women reading those back to back might stop and think, “Uhhh…okay, Lord. I’m confused. What do I do?”
Pleasing people doesn’t work. We all have different opinions, hearts and minds that the Lord gave us. I mean honestly, how great is our God that he created in us so many different preferences, viewpoints and convictions?
Serving people does work. And when we serve others, we please our King, and pleasing our King is the only type of pleasing that will lead to ultimate satisfaction.
Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
We have this unique freedom to use our talents he gave us to serve one another, whether that be through teaching, dancing, singing, caring or listening. But as women, it’s so easy to overstep that line into people pleasing. Once we see that our service makes others happy, we want to be useful and wanted, maybe even needed.
I think it’s partially because we were made to give love and receive it and partially because we are humans. We have narcissistic actions, we idolize praise and we flat out idolize being idolized.
As I wrote down each suggestion I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was unsure of what direction to take my blog in and I was confused as to how, or if my viewership was changing.
Then I realized, Jesus didn’t worry about pleasing those he met. He just worried about serving. And if my job is to be like Jesus, I can’t be worried about pleasing everyone. I have to be committed to serving.
By taking each suggestion whole heartedly, I separated what was an opinion and what was a request. I can share low-priced items just as easily as I can share high-end staples. I can share recipes just as much as I share handbag sales. And I can share numerous options and styles for numerous girls, without promoting satisfaction through materialism.
By finding whom we can serve as opposed to whom we can please, we take the selfish emotion out of it. Jesus is pleased by our works! Who the heck cares if the girl next to you at work is? Because chances are if you’re pleasing your savior, you’re serving those he loves and you’ll feel more satisfied than pleasing thousands.
So how can I serve through my blog?
The spring of 7th grade I woke up one Saturday morning and moseyed on into my bathroom like every preteen does to brush my teeth at the bright and early time of 11:00 a.m.
I dropped my toothbrush as I looked in the mirror. I saw blisters all over my face that had popped up overnight. I screamed, ran downstairs and yelled to my parents to see what was wrong.
What started with blisters on my face turned into exhaustion, extreme joint pain [my dad had to physically carry me up and down our stairs], picking up every illness I came into contact with, my hair falling out into clumps, weeks of missed school and gums that bled so badly I could barely eat. If you have a serious problem with your health, consider visiting the rehua medical whakatane to get proper treatment.
A few years, 3 different states, 4 different medical centers and countless doctor appointments later we found I had Discoid Lupus. My mom has RA and my aunt has Lupus. I have symptoms of both and they happened to show the strongest during my preteen years. I was awkward, going through puberty and happened to feel like absolute crud 24/7, while managing skin that had blisters and hair that would fall out. What a time to become a teenager. What a time.
Because of the Lord, my parents’ prayers and an amazing team at the OU medical center, I was able to go into remission by the time I was a halfway through high school. But throughout those years, my mom did everything she could to help get my confidence up.
She would constantly tell me that Jesus was the only thing that would make me feel confident [while I felt disgusting when kids at school asked me what was on my face] and a few trips to the Neiman Marcus makeup counter wouldn’t hurt either! She’d pull me me out of school, we’d pop over to NM and grab some lip glosses while each lady at the counter asked if they could do my makeup. They never acted shocked at my skin. And they never asked what was wrong with it. Instead, they told me how pretty I was and how they loved my eyes and eyelashes.
It was the simplest gesture, but it truly meant the world to me. I didn’t feel pretty at 13. I didn’t feel healthy at 13. And I didn’t feel like anyone in their right mind besides my Dermatologist and Rheumatologist wanted to touch my skin.
After I went into remission I was convinced God wanted me to serve others by becoming a nurse. I chose a college based on their nursing program and was so eager to end up back at the OU Medical Center one day to give back.
I quickly realized that plan wasn’t for me. [I hate blood. Go freaking figure.] I called my mom crying one afternoon unsure of what to do. She told me, “Along with your faith, What made you feel the best while you were sick?” I knew immediately it was the women that never judged me and gave me tips and tricks to conceal whatever skin issues I was having. They took hours of their day not to make commission [half the time they gave me a bag of free samples] but simply to make me feel better and cared for. I told my mom I knew that’s what I needed to do, while also sharing what truly made me happy: my faith.
I switched my major to PR thinking I could work for a firm that specialized in beauty and fashion accounts, while writing press releases that would get into the hands of bloggers that would dispense a message to the girls who needed it. Because of Paul’s persistence, I ended up starting a blog hoping to do that exact thing.
My purpose of this blog is to make girls feel beautiful. To let them know that these are just my tales of frivolous shopping. Things that don’t matter. Things that just make life fun at times! But what makes you feel beautiful all the time is the love from our savior, a love so strong it can be seen through a stranger at a makeup counter that listens to your pain and a mother that is determined to get your confidence back. Chronicles of Frivolity shares frivolous things like clothes and beauty items. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with it! If a lip gloss makes me feel a little peppier, so be it! Life is our frivolity, he is our forever and I hope in 2016 I can serve you by sharing that.
I can’t please everyone, and if I am, then I honestly think I’m doing the Lord a disservice. It must mean I’m idolizing humans, instead of him. And if it bothers me, it’s because Satan is disguising pleasing others up in a big red bow titled happiness. When in reality, that doest equal happiness, it equals slavery to opinions. But I can use God’s guidance to serve you all. So after all of this, I want to say thank you. Thank you for each and every response. From 1 to 1,000 they were all filled with ways I can serve you better and I hope that my editorial, collaborations, reviews and campaigns each help fulfill your needs.
Because I have been that girl that is sick, the girl that feels ugly and the girl who feels unwanted. I’m here to tell you that running to him, NOT Nordstrom, is the only thing that heals that pain. But once he heals, you’re given a joy that can’t be taken from you. And if you want to take that joy right downtown to J.Crew, go on girlfriend! And I’ll join ya! We can’t please each other, but we can serve each other with humility, respect and compassion. And when we do that we are always pleasing our King.
Have a blessed Sunday and I can’t wait to meet you back here tomorrow!
I love this! As a girl who used to feel so ugly growing up, with issues that no one my age would be able to grasp, I felt so alone. I still feel alone in a way, but I know that through my savior I will never be truly alone or forsaken. It’s everything. I don’t feel ugly anymore, most of my issues are resolved as much as they can be, and this blog is a place where I feel like I am allowed to find joy in those “silly” things like clothes and makeup. And I feel like I have a girlfriend who gets me 🙂
You have an amazing and kind heart, I personally learned that this year, which I am so so thankful for, and I think by serving Him you will take the blog where it’s supposed to go.
Blessings from Norway! 🙂
Katey, you are awesome and I love reading about you and your family. Happy New Year!
You blessed me this morning! I love your blog and I also have a 15 year old daughter who is going through a very tough time. Hearing how your mother helped has shone a light in the pit of frustration I have had in helping my daughter. You are indeed serving- I am sure I am at the older end of your followers (41) and many people can relate to your words for themselves. I bet you didn’t realize God would use you to minister to a Mom all the way in Ohio!
Thank you and keep going!
Well said!! . I love learning bits and pieces of information about you and your family. You are a very relatable kind of gal. :). Keep up the good work!!! And a little Jesus moment every now and then never hurts, if anything it makes me say, I should really get in touch with my faith more. I also think some throwbacks of your younger girl days may also benefit some to see how much you have evolved as that awkward teen girl to the beautiful soul you have become today. You come off as very true to your readings, and I hope I’m not wrong about that. 🙂 Continued blessings in the NewYear!!
So very well said. I’m a “newbie” to your blog- I’m guilty of following you on IG but haven’t skipped over to your blog homepage! And this is the FIRST post I got to see, I take that as a sign to me too…! Your story is inspiring and it will give girls of all ages inspiration for sure. It is so nice to see that you have way more than just the “fun, frivolous things” that make up who you are;) I too am a girl who LOVES all those things and falls right in line with the “excitement” of a statement necklace or new makeup or shoes!!!! But it takes having faith and stability on he inside as well to be complete! Cheers to you in 2016 and I am now a loyal follower of COF! Thank you for sharing!!
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OMG I’m reading this post coming back to Denver from Oklahoma which is home and I’m balling in the cab right now. The driver must think I’m nuts. I left my family just now and am just having the hardest time. My job in Denver is suppose to be my dream job of medical sales but I just want to move back home to my family. I’m so scared to quit my “dream job” but my boss hates me and I feel picked on. Because of this post I know I’m suppose to go to esatician school. I have battled with skin issues but still don’t know how to make a career out of it but I’m moving home and doing school. God spoke to me through this….
This is an absolutely lovely post! I admire your faith and tenacity. Keep doing what God calls you to do and all will be well. I love your blog! And I follow you on social media. Gees, I’m middle aged (42) and I still love reading your posts and all the things you share. You have such joy and are the cutest thing! Just be you. That’s enough. Blessings in 2016!
I think this is exactly what I needed this morning! I tend to be a people pleaser but you’re right it is truly impossible to please everyone. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story you go girl!
Xx
Katey, you are amazing! This is by far my favorite post. You are such a kind person to try and use your blog to make people feel better from the inside out. Thank you for your continued kindness!
You’re such an ispiration and I look forward to each and every post!
I love this and reading your blog! I hope you continue the way you have been 🙂 I look forward to your cheerful attitude and feeling like we have girl talk every morning when I read. Best of luck in 2016, I look forward to going through the year with you!
This is my favorite post you’ve written! Thanks so much for sharing Jesus and your story with us, your testimony is so powerful, and it’s awesome to see how he has worked in your life! Love your blog!
Thank you for staying true to you and who God has called you to be!
Wow! What an incredible post this was to read this morning. Right after I woke up, I was thinking about this very subject. As women we try to please anyone that comes into our path and it can be difficult to let that go.
Katy, keep doing what you’re doing! You have such an incredible, strong voice and just stay true to you. You have such a brightness to you that brings joy to others and I hope I get to follow your blog for many years to come!
Loved this! Thanks so much for sharing and may God bless you for using your platform to glorify him.
I read every single word, and you couldn’t have said it better. Katey, you have a beautiful voice and can make the word of God so relatable to me. One thing I’ve struggled with after moving was finding another church I can relate to- most of them I’ve tried in Atlanta are enormous and I don’t feel connected to them. Thanks for being my fresh breath of air this Sunday morning!
xo Amanda
XO Strawberry Chic
This was such a beautiful post to wake up to! I love your heart for the Lord!
Beautiful post Katey! Love you much and so proud of you?
Aunt Kim
Perfect post for a Sunday! While I am not religious, your post still spoke to me. The importance of this life is to live it to your full potential and while we meet and interact with others on a day to day basis, we need to stick true to ourselves and do what is best for our journey. This was a beautifully written post and I appreciate your sincerity and honesty through it all. Seriously- can we be best friends?! 🙂 Happy Sunday!
I needed to read this today!! I’ve read your blog from the beginning and I love how open you are with your faith! There is nothing more comforting to me than to read about another persons walk with God!
Oh my goodness I am a big ball of tears at the moment! I too needed to hear this! You are touching so many lives through this blog girlfriend! Keep up the fantastic work!
This was one of the most inspiring blog posts I’ve ever read! I love that you know who you are in the eyes of God and you let other women know who they are. Thank you!
This is such an eye opening post! I love your blog! Keep doing you ??
This post is absolutely incredible, Katey!!! I have the disease to please sometimes and it’s something I plan to improve on in the next year. This post couldn’t have come at a better time for me!! Thank you for sharing and for being so vulnerable!! I adore you!! I hope you have a blessed Sunday!!
What a great post Katey! As a Christian who strives to live my life according to Gods standards I really appreciate that you let your faith drive your blog. Honestly its the reason why I enjoy reading your blog. And your awesome fashion cents doesn’t hurt either ;). Keep up the good work and I can’t wait to see what 2016 brings for COF!!!
This is absolutely beautiful!!! I struggle with my imperfections and how I view myself, because of the life I lived when I was not right with god. I lived a life of promiscuity, and alcoholism. I had my first child at 15. There’s so many things I struggle with letting go of. I rededicated my life to Christ 5 years ago, and self worth has always been an issue. Lately I’ve found myself changing the way I dress and wearing more makeup than usual. A friend of mine looked at me and said “you’re such a pretty girl. Why do you wear all that makeup?” And all I could say was, “because I don’t like myself!” And I realized that changing how I look is not going to change how I feel about myself. Only God can do that! I just need to be willing to let him! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
Beautifully written! You’re amazingly awesome!
Katey,
THANK YOU for this post! It was so beautifully written! You are such an inspiration and this was absolutely one of my favorite posts you’ve had! Thank you for being so raw and real! It makes me coming back and reading your posts!
Gina
Love your blog and love this post!! You have made me become more open in my faith and I am so thankful for you!! You keep doing your thing girl, what you’re doing is speaking volumes to many!! Lots of love!!
This was a truly beautiful post. As someone who is not particularly religious, I find your unapologetic dedication to sharing your faith and making it part of your blog admirable. Keep doing what you’re doing, girl. I for one will certainly keep reading!
Love your blog. Love your honestly and love your encouragement. Thank you X
This post was awesome, Katey! I am a high school senior, planning to go into the fashion industry after college. I love how you are true to yourself and your faith shows through. With blogging, it’s easy to look like you have lots of money and the latest clothes, when in reality, you’re doing what God has drawn you to do. Keep doing you, girl 🙂
I absolutely adore this post, it`s completely and totally inspirational and honestly a good reminder for me. My faith hasn`t been what it use to be these days and to read a post so focused on God and faith meant the world to me. You`re desire to please Him is wonderful. Thank you so much for writing this, it`s exactly what I needed today.
XOXO,
Cassidy
Loved reading this! God gave me a similar verse in Philippians for my youtube channel telling me it’s not my job to impress others, but to think of them as better then myself and to look out for their interests (Philippians 2:3-4). So this defiantly ties in! Also, I can relate to your story because I had several issues and surgeries on my face in late elementary to early high school. So thank you for sharing your story and being so encouraging, it’s a reminder that our past is something to be thankful for because it really makes us who we are today. All glory be to God!
This has been my most favorite blog post yet. You really spoke into my life this afternoon, and I am grateful for that.
Have a blessed Sunday and thank you for sharing!
-Britny
Wow, what a sweet, genuine post!! This is why I love your blog, Katey!
xo, Brianne
http://www.scrubsandsparkles.com
This is amazing!
Loved reading this post Katey! Thank you for your honesty, I’ll be a reader for as long as you keep blogging!
Katey,
This blog post was extremely powerful and inspirational! Great job. Have a wonderful 2016
Katey I cannot begin to tell you how much I LOVED this post! I have been following your blog for a while now and LOVE that you are so proud in sharing your love for Jesus. If people do not enjoy that, they have plenty of options of other articles, let alone other blogs to be reading. You are a beautiful girl and if you like to wear pink lipstick everyday then WEAR THE PINK LIPSTICK EVERYDAY!! Anyone that takes the time to say something negative to you whether it is about your makeup choices or your pride in your faith just cannot find anything else to do. Remember that the ones who spread negativity are the ones with miserable lives. Keep spreading joy and doing what you love.
This is the most beautiful blog post I have ever read. You’re love for Jesus is such an inspiration and you are doing awesome things with your blog! Thank you for sharing this.
Love this post. Finding your identity, confidence–your EVERYTHING in Christ is the best most life-changing thing, in my opinion. 🙂 This piece is timely for me and led me to say a quick but thoughtful prayer seeking guidance with my own blog and readers!
I can’t refer your blog to enough of my friends. Thank you for being genuine in all that your blog shares. It brightens my mornings and makes me take time for introspection and sparks curiosity on so many topics. This post made me tear up a bit and I eagerly look forward for what’s to come this year! Best wishes in everything, DL
Beautiful post, Katey!!! You are awesome, I love your vulnerability and your honesty in sharing your faith. You are an inspiration to me to be more sensitive to the divine encounters God has lined up for me. Thank you for all that you do!!!
Thank you for pouring out your heart and soul. I needed this today.
This is your best post yet Katey! Thanks so much for sharing and always being so open and candid. It’s nice to hear someone else point out that while the “frivolities” in life are fun, you can enjoy them withouth them being everything to you. Us ladies love our girly things, but to servie the Lord is by far the best feeling one can experiece. I really needed this today, thank you!
April
aprilphilomena.wordpress.com
Seriously Katey after reading this it is so neat to see how transparent you are and how fun you are! It is so neat to see how the Lord used your struggle and turned it into something beautiful. I also love how you encourage your readers in their walk with Christ. It’s one of my favorite things! Keep following His direction girlfriend! Thanks for encouraging everyone to filter decisions through His word. <3
Wow are you an inspiration!! I read your blog every week and out of all the posts this one has touched me the most! You definitely inspired me to reconnect with my faith. Keep up the guidance, and wonderful posts on all things fun and makeup
Oh Katey, how can readers say you have changed when they only see you on their screen? And even so, as humans we evolve. of course you are going to change, we do not remain stagnant. That is not our nature. I always admired who you are regardless if change has come along and regardless of your pink lipstick. You are who you are, you will not stop wearing pink lipstick because others do not like it. Even with my blog, I always say I will post the things that I love and I believe in, and if my readers also love them that is fantastic, if they do not well they can make suggestions but the blog is your creative outlet and form of expression. You shouldn’t change because others want you to. I love reading this post and I love the brutal honesty of people. but at the same time, your blog is your home, guests will come and go, but the ones that love you will always come back regardless if you wear a pink lipstick or talk about God.
Keep being you girl.
Eleni xo
Hi Katey!
I’ve been following you for awhile and just want to say I love your blog! Thank you for transparency in this post and for sharing your faith and love for Jesus. I really enjoy your refreshing and humorous writing style. And I’m a huge fan of your pretty pink lipstick 🙂 Happy 2016!
Xo~Holly
Hi Katey!
I’ve been following you for awhile and just want to say I love your blog! Thank you for transparency in this post and for sharing your faith and love for Jesus. I really enjoy your refreshing and humorous writing style. And I’m a huge fan of your pretty pink lipstick 🙂 Happy 2016!
Xo~Holly
Wow, Katey, thank you so much for being obedient to the Father and posting this. I definitely had to hold back tears from how real and genuine you are being in this post. Personally, (I know you aren’t looking for more suggestions), but I love and read your blog constantly because you share your faith so boldly. You never shy away from it. I love that your words and posts are so authentic and you never come off as materialistic or immature or whatever. Honestly, I’m sorry someone tried to tear you down by saying things like that. I am still trying to strengthen my walk and grow as a Christian, and your words help me learn and see things like the part about seeing God’s love through people even the makeup counter ladies or your mother. I never thought of it like that. So, all this to say, thank you and you are an inspiration. I hope you never give up or stop being you or sharing your light in this blog space, because if nothing else, you are helping me SO much. Just reading your blog sometimes give me a laugh, a smile, inspiration or ideas and any given day – it’s a treat. May God richly bless you Katey, and again, thank you.
xo,
Nikki
I’m in tears right now. You might think that it’s pretty silly but you don’t know how much this post helps me. I love our Lord. He is so completely amazing and his plan is so incredible. I am 14. I do all the normal 14 year old things, I hang out with my friends, watch too much netflix while procrastinating on homework, I talk to boys, and I enjoy drama way too much. Recently, with school, and the overwhelming amount of fake and broken people who are making bad decision, I’ve felt kind of broken myself. Ever since I found the youtube and blogging community i knew i wanted to be in that. I have always loved makeup, and fashion, interior design, DIYs, etc… I’m a creative person. Something just felt off. I knew that material things were not enough. I want to serve; serve our Lord. When I found your instagram i followed because i loved your styles but until reading this I never understood “chronicles of frivolity.” I understand now, for you made meaningless things as a way to so much for, our Savior. Thank You for this. Thanking our Lord for you and His amazing way of working in our lives (through this blog post!) Ha This might make no sense because i’m a flood of emotions, but again, thank you. Happy New Year!
“Life is our frivolity, he is our forever…” Thank you so much for sharing your story, Katey! You have given me insight, and a deeper appreciation of COF. Your words are an encouragement, and I can’t wait to see what else you have planned for 2016!
You rock! I love your blog because it mixes your passion for fashion and your faith! Loved your response! Girl you preached!
I couldn’t love this more. This is why I come to your blog! You inspire me so much and you are an incredibly beautiful person!
Katey this is truly the best thing I have ever read on a blog. And I follow A LOT of blogs haha. You have completely won me over the past few weeks since starting to follow you. I love all your stories from your life and this one hit close to home. I’ve been trying to find what my purpose is with my blog and your post is making me want to dive deeper.
Thank you for this!!
xo Laura Leigh
http://www.LouellaReese.com
I love this post (and all your others). You sincerity and faith really set your blog apart. Thank you. xo
your*, xo
I am so inspired by you! I love seeing the Lord work through you, and I love everything you said in this post! I would have never known the struggles you’ve been through in your life, and it’s amazing how transparent you are. Keep doing what you’re doing!